Tuesday, July 24, 2012

It Will Work Out: It Always Does

2012 has not been a stellar year. Lots of challenges, few of them good, most of them well outside of my/our control. Ill parents, family drama, changing of the guard at work. No control over the events or the outcome, but still they all created chaos and stress.

 Daryl and I left town on June 29th, our wedding anniversary, for my company retreat. Driving south, watching gorgeous scenery pass us by, I had a renewed sense of optimism, of moving forward, of shrugging off the past six months and embracing July 1 as the beginning of great things. I started projects I had not been able to get to, with all the chaos of the first six months, including redesigning my photography web site. We had a really fantastic time in Park City, with great friends and doing great work. We came home not to a mess (always my biggest fear leaving the house in the hands of the proto adults). All seemed to point to grand things.

 And then the sky let loose - the fiercest and longest hail storm I've ever seen, one early morning last week. It completely obliterated our garden - everything from the tomato plants that actually were thriving, to our raspberry patch, and every blooming flower that I had in the yard. All hope of gorgeous photography back drops wiped for this year, in only 45 minutes. How to find the silver lining? If the plants aren't going to bloom, well then how about a major garden redesign in good weather?

My imaginary garden design includes a dry creek bed running along the north south axis of our yard, on the west side, in perfect view from our kitchen. This creek bed would be planted either side with stunning perennials and be the perfect backdrop for photographs. This isn't a job that can be a DIY project, as it involves some grading, earth moving and lots and lots of hauling rock. I found a brilliant contractor, and I intend to hire him. Sadly, it won't be this year as there just isn't the disposable income for this project.

So here we are in middle of garden season, the middle of what should be fantastic photography season here, in the garden I've worked so hard to make ready, with nada - no garden, no backdrop, and no project to keep my mind busy and my heart happy.

Not to mention that the hail storm also damaged one car and our roof, and those repairs will need some cash. July has not proven to be the start of something beautiful or a new beginning. More events over which I have no control but which cause me stress.

Daryl and I talked about this in the shower this morning - yes, after 27 years married we not only still talk to one another but we shower together! Imagine that! It's tough to acknowledge that, despite your best efforts, you aren't in a financial position to make each others dreams come true, that things just aren't quite what you imagined they would be by now. It was a relief to acknowledge that so much of the stress is caused by events we cannot control. And, to realize that It Will Work Out: It Always Does.